Helpless- The Program

This is a program I worked on with my brilliant partner Molly T. We broke off with the central theme of "Loved ones who don't love themselves enough" and this is what ultimately ensued. Each of us wrote about some of our closest friends, and I know that this poem was one of the heaviest I've written. We read this at a local Open Mic at my University. The following was my contribution, but the video contains hers as well (simply because I don't have a copy of hers). Enjoy!

Will.

He was about like anyone else except for
   he walked with question marks and rumors in place of his shadow.
I didn't know much about him except for what I had heard but his demeanor drew me in until I knew he wasn't a question mark. And over the course of four years he grew to be the only man I knew who was enthralled with the way I spoke who felt admiration-     never desire.

Now people have told me they were gay before but I had never been "come out" to before. No one was more concerned with what I had to say more than him.
   That is- I'd never seen anxiety wash over someone
my opinion has never had more impact.
 I felt the weight of my peers hate cut me in half when my best friend looked me in honest eye contact and admitted that he
                                                     would give anything
                                                      try everything
                                                                  something.

                                                                  For him to just be straight.
And when I felt the weight of hate that no counter-rumor or anesthesia could abate I simple nodded and tried to pay him all the casualty this moment could afford
   because I knew that some of our closest friend didn't have it in them to be casual
and I couldn't watch as he became a casualty of his own confinement.

I hadn't loved someone like I had loved him before because this wasn't a sexual kind of affectional this was actual love like you love your little brother because you knew he could never break your heart and you would do anything in this world for NO ONE to break his.

When your savior was crucified for the sake of mankind to love each other how can you be so blind when you use your judgment to drive nails into the palms of someone close to your heart and turn your back to condemn him for his love?

So I looked at him with honest eye contact, put his palm safe in mine and told him that I'll say anything he wants me to as long as someday, if God's grace wills it, he can live by his own free will
   and I promised him that no matter what-
                  he will always be the Will to my Grace.