Something came to my attention the other day that I keep thinking about, so I wanted to share my thoughts on the topic.
My boyfriend is a gentleman with British-Canadian roots ( I use the term gentleman purposefully), who was raised to British standards. By that I mean he was taught at a young age to hold doors open for people (not just ladies, although always for a lady), pull out chairs, pays for dates, sit/stand straight and to introduce himself to every newcomer by shaking their hand. After introduced to my friends, my lady friends later remarked to me how they had wished more guys held themselves to this same code of conduct, where as the guys just looked at each other. Later on that week I overheard a conversation in which a group of guys were saying, "Girls don't want chivalry anymore, they never go for the nice guy", which got me fired up.
I say this not to mean "my-boyfriend-is-better-than-yours", but what they said really made me think.
The "old school" way of behaving is something that has completely changed over the years. Not to say that all men burp and slap doors in women's faces (now THAT would be something to get fired up about), as a society we do still have COURTESY. However madamenoire.com makes a good point when it lists the 7 ways that chivalry has died in our American culture, such as swearing in front of strangers, not giving up your seat for those who could use it and letting weaker individuals struggle with heavy-lifting. It has become a rare occasion (and too many women can agree with me) to encounter a gentleman who will help you carry a heavy suitcase or give up a seat on the subway for you. Our British roots are fading, and we are slowly forgetting what makes us gentlemen/women all the time- not just in front of people we try to impress.
I did some asking around on the floor of my dorm (which is already pretty diverse in nature) to see what my floor-mates had to say about this particular issue. Several women said when asked that they rarely ever encounter the true forms of every-day chivalry (such as the 7 ways that were previously mentioned), and almost all of them agreed that they wish it would appear more prevalent in our society. When asking the guys what keeps them from being more chivalrous, they replied that they simply don't think about it. Few commented that they were not raised that way, and others even said that they didn't think it was a thing anymore and therefore didn't care. Yeah.
Guys, it is time to graduate to Gentlemen. Most women agree that they significantly appreciate true chivalry, and I'll even go further to say it is one of the things I noticed first about a guy when I first meet him. In fact, it is one of my favorite aspects of my relationship and in turn even reminds me to give him my utmost respect-it keeps me a lady...not that I would be anything otherwise, but you get my point. When you respect....you get respect back.
So remember to always be a gentleman or gentlewoman not just when you want to impress someone, but all the time. You may cause someone to do it for someone else, and that could lead to a domino effect of polite and proper proportions.
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