It's been quite the hiatus since I've last written. These last few months I've experienced a roller coaster ride of pain and relief (sometimes even in the same day) that has taught me more things than I can even identify.
For some explanation, this past year I battled with an anxiety disorder that was secretly taking hold of my life and would not let go. I would stay awake at night for hours obsessing over worries I couldn't shake, replaying the what-ifs over and over in my mind until I exhausted myself. I would then wake myself up early to do it all over again, and looking back I never let myself relax. My quiet moments were never quiet. What should have felt like peace unsettled me, and I felt like I was losing touch with myself and reality. I didn't feel like this before, and I couldn't figure out how to get my old self back. I liked myself before I was filled with a quiet panic and I was trying my hardest to get it back. This continued into the summer, where it multiplied and got more and more irrational. This lead me to feel hopeless, and I was waiting for a change I didn't have in me. During this time, I experienced loss after loss after loss of important people in my life, each a substantial blow that hit like a hurricane- hard, fast and out of my control. After my long term relationship split, I lost my childhood dog and had a falling out with people who were really close to me. It was then I was losing tons of weight very quickly, not sleeping and have reoccurring panic attacks. This wasn't how summer was supposed to feel, and the relief I was counting on wasn't coming.
So I took matters into my own hands.
I had lots of time to myself to think about what was going on and I came to realize many things.
1.) It's not worth it to over analyze your life. It's fleeting, so have fun where you are or change it, because it's honestly changing anyway.
2.) Never take for granted unwavering support. The people who support you in your life are the ones who chose to because they are the ones who care about you and want the best for you. Never underestimate when a good friend checks in, because even if you think they feel obligated to ask, if they didn't care about the answer they would not ask. So value the effort, because it does not have to be there.
3.) If you need help, get it. I cannot stress this enough. Know your limits and know when too much is too much and when it is, get help. I've been medicated for about a month now and I feel like myself again. That is something that won't resolve on my own, and I'm blessed to have found a solution. This applies to any problem you may have- find help if you need it, and don't worry about the future. Chances are you are better off with taking action.
4.) Don't wallow. I've never felt better after wallowing. If you hit your lonely nights (which everyone does) then do what you can to make yourself happier. Watch something to cheer yourself up. Make yourself a cup of tea, re-watch a show or movie you know you love. Something that reminds you that loneliness passes, and sometimes it's just better to smile and let it pass. I've watched more New Girl and The Office than I can count....and I love it.
5.) Love the people and places around you. I learned to see people differently and I've come to appreciate my loved ones a lot more recently, and what I love about them makes me happier. I've come to a great understanding with my mom, and I honestly feel that we've never been closer. That is an incredible feeling.
6.) Love yourself. You cannot love anyone else until you learn to love yourself. This is absolutely crucial- you cannot heal from anything until you stop beating yourself up over things you can't control. Accept you, then you can accept everything else as it comes by. Otherwise you'll just attribute it to yourself.
7.) Be Beyonce. Whatever that means to you.
8.) Listen to music that makes you feel like Beyonce.
This is the strongest I've ever been in my life, and I cannot wait to see where this next year takes me. Because this is going to be good.
Tuesday, August 12, 2014
Monday, March 24, 2014
Bitch Please
No matter your gender, you've heard it, been called it, used it even. For women the connotation is harsh and definitive, stamped on the forehead as punishment for for actions deemed as "improper and cruel" to whomever subjectively does the labeling. Pronouncing a woman to be a bitch in the traditional sense is to label whatever comes out of her mouth as rude and irrational, much like the deeming of being a Shrew in Shakespearean times. For men however, it is of even worse connotation. A man who is a bitch is a man being rude and irrational...but lacking all masculinity and falling into the same category as women. Also definitive, equally as much of a lash to moral. But as you noticed... nothing I just said was news.
Why should a woman be punished and labeled for stating something she believes to be honest, or acting on her own accord? Why does she have to be put down for speaking her mind? Why does she have to be known for being rude and inconsiderate because of someone's opinion? They're her damn beliefs!
I think Megan Carpentier puts it best in the statement, "Being a bitch is every woman's birthright". If a man asserts his opinions then he is a "boss" and admired for his confidence while a woman can do the same thing and be dismissed for being a "bitch". And lo', the double standard was conceived to maintain a male driven world.
Business women are known for being cold and assertive bitches, but in reality, that is one of the only ways to assure to be taken seriously. Nicki Minaj in an interview with Chelsea Handler (known for being an over-saturated lady rapper, but unrecognized for being a business woman and representing herself) claims it is ultimately the only way to be heard. So ladies, how do we maintain a likable demeanor while maintaining a known presence? We become a straight up boss bitch.
Circumstances in which it is acceptable to be a bitch
~ If someone makes a sexist ass comment. Pardon my language, but that is never acceptable even in joking. In no way will I make anyone a sandwich, and in no way do I have to take orders just because I am a woman.So why put up with anyone with a superiority complex? Spread the respect.
~If someone drops the R word. Look at this one as a big picture. If someone is using a word rooted in ignorance to put someone down...why not stand up for those being hurt? In other words, if you have to stand up for those who are being hurt directly or indirectly, go ahead and be a bitch.
~If one insists on asserting their stupid. People have a tendency to hold their beliefs to be true, which is perfectly fine, but when they are persistent that you change yours...then it's acceptable to hold your own.
~When you need to be taken seriously. Now I'm talking about if you are not being taken seriously previously. If you are being dismissed, then make sure to stand your ground and be assertive. And I mean if you have to...be a bitch.
However there is quite a difference to being a bad bitch and being downright unreasonable. You can have manners and still be a boss bitch. I cannot emphasize that enough.
When it is NOT okay to get bitchy
~At a restaurant. Oh. My. God. If you've ever worked in one you know the exact thing I'm talking about, but serving is tough. Rude customers are even tougher. Nothing makes a long, bustling day spent of your feet longer than putting on a fake smile to rude customers. Because nothing is a bigger nightmare in the food industry than involving a manager with a fussy customer over a stupid conflict. Be civil, remember those manners, don't ruin a server's day with attitude.
~To people who clean up after you. Janitors, maintenance workers, BSWs, anyone whose job it is to clean up after you. Even if they aren't as thorough as you'd like, people are people and bitching them out is not acceptable and will not make it any better. If you want to be respected, give respect.
~If you are having a bad day. I guarantee if you give someone attitude because you are having a bad day, you will bring down their mood as well. Keep your attitude in check and make sure good karma spreads.
So don't settle for being a basic bitch and be a boss bitch. Stop the stigma- be heard.
Circumstances in which it is acceptable to be a bitch
~ If someone makes a sexist ass comment. Pardon my language, but that is never acceptable even in joking. In no way will I make anyone a sandwich, and in no way do I have to take orders just because I am a woman.So why put up with anyone with a superiority complex? Spread the respect.
~If someone drops the R word. Look at this one as a big picture. If someone is using a word rooted in ignorance to put someone down...why not stand up for those being hurt? In other words, if you have to stand up for those who are being hurt directly or indirectly, go ahead and be a bitch.
~If one insists on asserting their stupid. People have a tendency to hold their beliefs to be true, which is perfectly fine, but when they are persistent that you change yours...then it's acceptable to hold your own.
~When you need to be taken seriously. Now I'm talking about if you are not being taken seriously previously. If you are being dismissed, then make sure to stand your ground and be assertive. And I mean if you have to...be a bitch.
However there is quite a difference to being a bad bitch and being downright unreasonable. You can have manners and still be a boss bitch. I cannot emphasize that enough.
When it is NOT okay to get bitchy
~At a restaurant. Oh. My. God. If you've ever worked in one you know the exact thing I'm talking about, but serving is tough. Rude customers are even tougher. Nothing makes a long, bustling day spent of your feet longer than putting on a fake smile to rude customers. Because nothing is a bigger nightmare in the food industry than involving a manager with a fussy customer over a stupid conflict. Be civil, remember those manners, don't ruin a server's day with attitude.
~To people who clean up after you. Janitors, maintenance workers, BSWs, anyone whose job it is to clean up after you. Even if they aren't as thorough as you'd like, people are people and bitching them out is not acceptable and will not make it any better. If you want to be respected, give respect.
~If you are having a bad day. I guarantee if you give someone attitude because you are having a bad day, you will bring down their mood as well. Keep your attitude in check and make sure good karma spreads.
So don't settle for being a basic bitch and be a boss bitch. Stop the stigma- be heard.
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
A Gap in Reality- Not just a Thigh Gap.
Today I was sitting down to do some work when I opened up my Facebook tab. Classic. But I stumbled across a link to a poorly doctored image of a bikini model from a major company. A company major enough to be able to catch slip ups like that. The effect of the picture made me realize how drastic of a change photoshop will make on images that were simple enough (in my understanding) to not need much editing. So I took initiative and decided to spread it the best way I knew how.
I called over my 10-year-old little sister and showed her this image. At first she registered it as a regular image, until I pointed out the major editing flaws. A grossly over-exaggerated thigh gap, mistakes in arm slimming editing, and asymmetrically distorted hips. She commented as to how weird the image looked with those distortions as I could see her her eyes focus on the screen, youthful and naive to big industry perceptions the consume the media today. All together, I told her that she would never see this girl walking around today- even if she saw the model. This girl does not exist.
I knew that she was going to go about her entire life being told that she has to look different, that what she looks like now won't be good enough. More than anything, I don't want her skipping meals because she wants to look like the girls from the disney channel. I want her to feel pretty because she has huge blue eyes and long, dark eyelashes already, not aspiring to a face full of makeup. I know at her age, I was beyond uncomfortable with my height and proportions and would have given anything to look like the littler girls I saw every day. I do not want her biggest bully to be the one inside her own head, so I took a stand to change that.
Advertising is cold and unforgiving, so foster a reality that is natural, creative and healthy. I really believe that if we all have this talk with the impressionable little girls around us, especially at this age- we can change the dynamic that is sweeping the nation. We can knock this perception back to a reality. If we don't change this now, what will happen if it continues? If we can send the message that skinny doesn't sell, it will just have to change. Being a role model figure, I make an important endeavor to make it clear to do my part and set her straight. Now it's up to you to do yours.
Visit this link to show your little girls the same, and turn this reality from inevitable to avoided.
http://www.eonline.com/news/519820/target-is-now-in-the-lead-for-worst-photoshop-job-ever-with-this-horrifying-thigh-gap?cmpid=sn-111021-facebook-na-eonline
I called over my 10-year-old little sister and showed her this image. At first she registered it as a regular image, until I pointed out the major editing flaws. A grossly over-exaggerated thigh gap, mistakes in arm slimming editing, and asymmetrically distorted hips. She commented as to how weird the image looked with those distortions as I could see her her eyes focus on the screen, youthful and naive to big industry perceptions the consume the media today. All together, I told her that she would never see this girl walking around today- even if she saw the model. This girl does not exist.
I knew that she was going to go about her entire life being told that she has to look different, that what she looks like now won't be good enough. More than anything, I don't want her skipping meals because she wants to look like the girls from the disney channel. I want her to feel pretty because she has huge blue eyes and long, dark eyelashes already, not aspiring to a face full of makeup. I know at her age, I was beyond uncomfortable with my height and proportions and would have given anything to look like the littler girls I saw every day. I do not want her biggest bully to be the one inside her own head, so I took a stand to change that.
Advertising is cold and unforgiving, so foster a reality that is natural, creative and healthy. I really believe that if we all have this talk with the impressionable little girls around us, especially at this age- we can change the dynamic that is sweeping the nation. We can knock this perception back to a reality. If we don't change this now, what will happen if it continues? If we can send the message that skinny doesn't sell, it will just have to change. Being a role model figure, I make an important endeavor to make it clear to do my part and set her straight. Now it's up to you to do yours.
Visit this link to show your little girls the same, and turn this reality from inevitable to avoided.
http://www.eonline.com/news/519820/target-is-now-in-the-lead-for-worst-photoshop-job-ever-with-this-horrifying-thigh-gap?cmpid=sn-111021-facebook-na-eonline
Sunday, January 5, 2014
Confess your Unpopular Opinion
So There was a tag on twitter that trended long long ago in which we confessed our unpopular opinions to the twitter cyberverse. During which, I learned I really have oodles of unpopular opinions... so I decided to share a number of them. Now I do not mena to slam anything or anyone in this- but simply to make a point or two...or 25. Yikes.
1. I'll start this off by stating that I will never watch Dr. Who. Not now, not ever. A number of people in my circle have been so involved that it has turned me off of it forever, and this is one thing that I just cannot bandwagon.
2. I like Jazz. I think it is complex and interesting and relaxing and deep, but dying.
3. Fuzzy boots are kind of gross. And I do not mean the clubbing knee high fur covered boots... I mean honestly any boots with fur or fake fur on them. Fur is and never has been a trend that I caught onto.
4. I love oatmeal. I really do. Any kind. It's something I ate as a girl and I believe I'll be eating porridge the rest of my natural born ginger life.
5. And a bath. I am a legal adult and I love bathtime more than children.
6. I never quite was a video game girl. My family has two girls, so naturally.
7. This one is one I've held onto all my life, but I cannot tell the difference between coke, pepsi, or Dr. Pepper, and the diet vs. regular of them all. I also cannot taste the difference between Sprite, Sierra Mist or 7 Up. I never like the way carbonation felt on my tongue, and my tooth enamel and I escaped an addiction because of it.
8. Flat bills/snapbacks just really make you look like a douche, no matter who you are.
9. I feel the need to Keep Up with the Kardashians, but good lord never Jersey Shore. I'm choosey about my reality garbage. And there's no way I'll even be able to explain what it is, but
10. I don't like Pumpkin flavored drinks, no matter how much they hype up fall. Sorry Starbucks addiction, that's one $5 I'll never spend. (It goes to caramel macchiatos instead, I'm only human).
11. I respect people who know how to public speak. This goes back to my Speech Team roots, but I will be so much more attentive and lend my respect to someone who speaks with conviction rather than simply presents. Low key, so do you. Ya notice.
12. Now granted I'm a Nursing major, but gore doesn't scare me. Or at least, I make a conscientious effort to take it for what it is. You know it's there, so even if it's not meant to be outside of your body, it shouldn't be too shocking, right?
13. Tan does not equate to sexy. Emma Stone. CHRISTINA HENDRIX. CHRISTINA. HENDRIX.
14. I think Taylor Swift is a bit of a psychopath...like that 'screw boys who wrong me' bit is cute, but I can't be the only one who was alarmed when she was torching some guy's house in her music videos.
15. I can handle black coffee. Adult badassery at its finest.
16. I LOVE a good suit. Love. Loooooove. On a man or a woman. If it's classy and awesome, then I won't be able to focus.
17. I never thought boat shoes were cute on women. They should really stick with preppy men. Who can sail...
18. Christmas comes AFTER Thanksgiving. Let's not get ahead of ourselves, Macy's commercials.
19. Now before I get the backlash on this one...just hear me out. I do not think The Hunger Games series is well written. Creative, sure, but I just cannot get myself to believe Suzanne Collins is anything brilliant when JKR is there in comparison. HOWEVER, I am making sure I finish the series to give it a solid chance, because I am somewhat impressed by her plot. Let the games begin.
20. EOS eggs taste like cheap lip gloss. I mean kudos to you design interns who went hard in the geometrically enticing packaging, but I'm still unimpressed by the product itself.
21. I am in love with poetry. Words are cool, I guess.
22. Even as a child, I love fruits and vegetables. I guess being a vegetarian is a bit of an unpopular opinion.
23. Getting blackout drunk sounds terrifying, not fun.
24. A sock bun has never worked on me. But if you can work it, gittit.
25. I don't like breakfast food. I like orange juice and oatmeal, but otherwise I don't think it's that fabulous.
Katie's 25 Unpopular Opinions
1. I'll start this off by stating that I will never watch Dr. Who. Not now, not ever. A number of people in my circle have been so involved that it has turned me off of it forever, and this is one thing that I just cannot bandwagon.
2. I like Jazz. I think it is complex and interesting and relaxing and deep, but dying.
3. Fuzzy boots are kind of gross. And I do not mean the clubbing knee high fur covered boots... I mean honestly any boots with fur or fake fur on them. Fur is and never has been a trend that I caught onto.
4. I love oatmeal. I really do. Any kind. It's something I ate as a girl and I believe I'll be eating porridge the rest of my natural born ginger life.
5. And a bath. I am a legal adult and I love bathtime more than children.
6. I never quite was a video game girl. My family has two girls, so naturally.
7. This one is one I've held onto all my life, but I cannot tell the difference between coke, pepsi, or Dr. Pepper, and the diet vs. regular of them all. I also cannot taste the difference between Sprite, Sierra Mist or 7 Up. I never like the way carbonation felt on my tongue, and my tooth enamel and I escaped an addiction because of it.
8. Flat bills/snapbacks just really make you look like a douche, no matter who you are.
9. I feel the need to Keep Up with the Kardashians, but good lord never Jersey Shore. I'm choosey about my reality garbage. And there's no way I'll even be able to explain what it is, but
10. I don't like Pumpkin flavored drinks, no matter how much they hype up fall. Sorry Starbucks addiction, that's one $5 I'll never spend. (It goes to caramel macchiatos instead, I'm only human).
11. I respect people who know how to public speak. This goes back to my Speech Team roots, but I will be so much more attentive and lend my respect to someone who speaks with conviction rather than simply presents. Low key, so do you. Ya notice.
12. Now granted I'm a Nursing major, but gore doesn't scare me. Or at least, I make a conscientious effort to take it for what it is. You know it's there, so even if it's not meant to be outside of your body, it shouldn't be too shocking, right?
13. Tan does not equate to sexy. Emma Stone. CHRISTINA HENDRIX. CHRISTINA. HENDRIX.
14. I think Taylor Swift is a bit of a psychopath...like that 'screw boys who wrong me' bit is cute, but I can't be the only one who was alarmed when she was torching some guy's house in her music videos.
15. I can handle black coffee. Adult badassery at its finest.
16. I LOVE a good suit. Love. Loooooove. On a man or a woman. If it's classy and awesome, then I won't be able to focus.
17. I never thought boat shoes were cute on women. They should really stick with preppy men. Who can sail...
18. Christmas comes AFTER Thanksgiving. Let's not get ahead of ourselves, Macy's commercials.
19. Now before I get the backlash on this one...just hear me out. I do not think The Hunger Games series is well written. Creative, sure, but I just cannot get myself to believe Suzanne Collins is anything brilliant when JKR is there in comparison. HOWEVER, I am making sure I finish the series to give it a solid chance, because I am somewhat impressed by her plot. Let the games begin.
20. EOS eggs taste like cheap lip gloss. I mean kudos to you design interns who went hard in the geometrically enticing packaging, but I'm still unimpressed by the product itself.
21. I am in love with poetry. Words are cool, I guess.
22. Even as a child, I love fruits and vegetables. I guess being a vegetarian is a bit of an unpopular opinion.
23. Getting blackout drunk sounds terrifying, not fun.
24. A sock bun has never worked on me. But if you can work it, gittit.
25. I don't like breakfast food. I like orange juice and oatmeal, but otherwise I don't think it's that fabulous.
Saturday, November 16, 2013
Scheduling through Life
If you knew me well, you come to know that I schedule like you wouldn't believe. I am a compulsive list maker, ranging from tracking what I eat throughout the day, to things I need to get done within the day, to things I want to get done over break, to credit hours, to imaginary wedding details, to things I need in my dorm room and when I can wisely get them. It all seemed normal until one day I caught myself listing ever pair of socks I owned so they will never get lost in the wash or stolen by my sister. Socks.....I'm listing socks. Red flag.
Scheduling is healthy. Scheduling for someone like me with so much chaos in their mind is somewhat of a lifeline, but what happens when I've scheduled myself into a machine? What happens when I've listed myself into a corner, and can't escape it for fear of disturbing my handwritten order? While scheduling is healthy- there must be a balance.
A very dear friend once enlightened me when I was in high school of how valuable every second of every day is. With a life expectancy put on her at a very young age, she took every day as a celebration- as a privilege. For every choice we make to spend our days, we trade a day of our lives for that choice, and if we aren't doing something valuable for ourselves... then we trade our days for a schedule that may not be important at all in a few years. Do something valuable to you, not your schedule, every day. Make these trade-ins count.
For me, it's taking time to see the sun set. It reminds me that I have enough control over my days to catch my favorite part of living where I do. Every sunset reminds me that while I don't have control over how many days I have- I control what happens within them. If I'm lucky enough, I follow this with listening to fabulous music or do yoga and if I'm REALLY lucky enough, I'll paint. All of these remind me to actually live outside my schedule, and honestly, I think that one of the most beautiful things about that youthful mentality is the brilliant spontaneousity we foster.
So schedule, but make sure to always be spontaneous. Because in the end- I remember how much fun I had with my friends spontaneously, not what was on my schedule.
Scheduling is healthy. Scheduling for someone like me with so much chaos in their mind is somewhat of a lifeline, but what happens when I've scheduled myself into a machine? What happens when I've listed myself into a corner, and can't escape it for fear of disturbing my handwritten order? While scheduling is healthy- there must be a balance.
A very dear friend once enlightened me when I was in high school of how valuable every second of every day is. With a life expectancy put on her at a very young age, she took every day as a celebration- as a privilege. For every choice we make to spend our days, we trade a day of our lives for that choice, and if we aren't doing something valuable for ourselves... then we trade our days for a schedule that may not be important at all in a few years. Do something valuable to you, not your schedule, every day. Make these trade-ins count.
For me, it's taking time to see the sun set. It reminds me that I have enough control over my days to catch my favorite part of living where I do. Every sunset reminds me that while I don't have control over how many days I have- I control what happens within them. If I'm lucky enough, I follow this with listening to fabulous music or do yoga and if I'm REALLY lucky enough, I'll paint. All of these remind me to actually live outside my schedule, and honestly, I think that one of the most beautiful things about that youthful mentality is the brilliant spontaneousity we foster.
So schedule, but make sure to always be spontaneous. Because in the end- I remember how much fun I had with my friends spontaneously, not what was on my schedule.
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
One step
Today marks a very important day that I may never forget. On November 5th 2013, the right to marriage for homosexual couples was voted into legality in the state of Illinois...and I couldn't be more thrilled.
Today marks a victory held by so many close friends of mine that it feels like a personal victory. Knowing that I will be able to visit my friends' families in a few years and that they will be legally protected as a family entity is unbelievably rewarding. And I cannot help but feel that little light of hope- that the government is listening. We've been fighting amongst ourselves and fighting for equality for so long and now, we've been heard. We've been acknowledged. We have changed the world for the better of equality of all human beings...and it happened right before my eyes in my home state. And even though it's one state, it's something. We may not have changed the nation, but there is a couple out there with tears in their eyes right now because of the promise our state brings. According to the Chicago Tribune, President Obama comments, "Michelle and I are overjoyed for all the committed couples in Illinois whose love will now be as legal as ours — and for their friends and family who have long wanted nothing more than to see their loved ones treated fairly and equally under the law". And on June 1st...it will all be set into place.
As I celebrate, the comments my peers leave on Twitter do sting. I grew up in an extremely conservative and religious town in which liberal views were present...but easily shut down. I had gay friends, but their struggle to stay closeted to remain an accepted member of the school's community was unreal. And I hope I never have to witness another loved one endure that again. While these nasty comments and tweets do feel like a setback in our fight for equality, a friend of mine made a brilliant point.
She commented that hatred can only poison the mind that allows it. As you can despise someone who makes you feel the weight of their hate, you have to understand that by letting your anger rise...you are not any better than they are. People can either feel happy or uneasy, but what it all boils down to is that people are as much equal as they are individuals- a balance that has put mankind in a stupor for centuries.
But here's to equality, and making sure good innocent people can go about life with undeniable rights, whether you agree or disagree. Here's to the people who understand that true love is unbreakable, here's to the lawmakers, here's to the celebration of life we all deserve.
Today marks a victory held by so many close friends of mine that it feels like a personal victory. Knowing that I will be able to visit my friends' families in a few years and that they will be legally protected as a family entity is unbelievably rewarding. And I cannot help but feel that little light of hope- that the government is listening. We've been fighting amongst ourselves and fighting for equality for so long and now, we've been heard. We've been acknowledged. We have changed the world for the better of equality of all human beings...and it happened right before my eyes in my home state. And even though it's one state, it's something. We may not have changed the nation, but there is a couple out there with tears in their eyes right now because of the promise our state brings. According to the Chicago Tribune, President Obama comments, "Michelle and I are overjoyed for all the committed couples in Illinois whose love will now be as legal as ours — and for their friends and family who have long wanted nothing more than to see their loved ones treated fairly and equally under the law". And on June 1st...it will all be set into place.
As I celebrate, the comments my peers leave on Twitter do sting. I grew up in an extremely conservative and religious town in which liberal views were present...but easily shut down. I had gay friends, but their struggle to stay closeted to remain an accepted member of the school's community was unreal. And I hope I never have to witness another loved one endure that again. While these nasty comments and tweets do feel like a setback in our fight for equality, a friend of mine made a brilliant point.
She commented that hatred can only poison the mind that allows it. As you can despise someone who makes you feel the weight of their hate, you have to understand that by letting your anger rise...you are not any better than they are. People can either feel happy or uneasy, but what it all boils down to is that people are as much equal as they are individuals- a balance that has put mankind in a stupor for centuries.
But here's to equality, and making sure good innocent people can go about life with undeniable rights, whether you agree or disagree. Here's to the people who understand that true love is unbreakable, here's to the lawmakers, here's to the celebration of life we all deserve.
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
2nd Lieutenant Nurse Katherine?
Today I woke up from a nap (after my typical morning energy crash from studying too late the night before and refraining from caffeine until my nap occurs) (So college) to grab my salad and head to my Student Nursing Association meeting run by my University. Little did I know that I would later on be giving an Army Recruiter my information for more details.
I was never an Army girl, but I did consider it, and like many, had decided it was not for me. While my infinite respect was with the soldiers, my heart was back home in a hospital taking care of children. Army Nursing was a thought- but never quite an option. My grandparents had both been an Army Doctor and Nurse during the Korean War era, but that is about all the family relation I had to it. But being so much like my grandmother (In so many ways), naturally once this option was presented....I just couldn't quite ignore it.
I watched a presentation that outlined Health Care within he US Army (which is pretty stupendous) and describing how well-rounded the system was. Despite what I had thought before, the AMEDD contains all of the fields a normal hospital would have- including pediatrics (as of now my specialty). Ok, so that's kindof neat, I don't know how many Army children there are though if I were on Active Duty. I was also presented with the option of going on Active Duty vs. Reserve, which essentially means AD is full time, overseas nursing in whatever country I would be stationed in (Germany-Kuwait- Afghanistan, you never know) and doing lots of humanitarian type work with a shift similar to that of a regular hospital, just overseas full time. Reserve is when you only serve when you are needed locally on weekends typically- so it would be like having a second job. The only position I would be given is Nurse, so I would never have to physically step into battle. That's good, it's not scary pow-pow Army. The training I would have would just be leadership courses and a 15 day course which would just be a bit of prep in addition to Army protocol (how to march, etc.). Wow, so I wouldn't even have to leave the country..
The benefits are fantastic. Aside from the reward service gives, there are travel opportunities, low cost insurance, starting as an officer, low-no cost benefits, No-cost/housing allowance, amazing retirement benefits, and here's the kicker- if I want to pursue more education goals (such as move up to Nurse Practitioner) they cover it. The Army promotes education and having the highest quality medical staff they can have, so they are firm believers in pursuing education/career goals. That's BIG.
So you can understand why this caught my attention. This choice could take care of me for the rest of my life in addition to the satisfaction of travel via humanitarian work. How could you ignore something that offered that much?
I can apply after I've had 2 years of hospital work here, so this would not be an impulse- I have time. I can make sure to establish myself before I apply and make that decision. Otherwise if I graduate with my BSN in addition to obtaining my license (duh), I am eligible.
Thinking of my future, it certainly has it's benefits, but I have to take everything into consideration. What if I have a family? What if this delay me from having a family? What if my family dynamic does not mesh with this? What if future husband has problems with it? What happens if it's not what I think it is? What happens if I'm not cut out for it but signed the contract? What happens if something happens to my family at home and I can't come back? There are certainly several considerations to take in about this for sure..
So there's that. For the first time in my life, I am considering joining the Army. Maybe it is for me, maybe it's not. I have lots of time and prayer to figure that out, so for now, I'm just taking life one step at a time and basking in the idea that I have so many options.
I was never an Army girl, but I did consider it, and like many, had decided it was not for me. While my infinite respect was with the soldiers, my heart was back home in a hospital taking care of children. Army Nursing was a thought- but never quite an option. My grandparents had both been an Army Doctor and Nurse during the Korean War era, but that is about all the family relation I had to it. But being so much like my grandmother (In so many ways), naturally once this option was presented....I just couldn't quite ignore it.
I watched a presentation that outlined Health Care within he US Army (which is pretty stupendous) and describing how well-rounded the system was. Despite what I had thought before, the AMEDD contains all of the fields a normal hospital would have- including pediatrics (as of now my specialty). Ok, so that's kindof neat, I don't know how many Army children there are though if I were on Active Duty. I was also presented with the option of going on Active Duty vs. Reserve, which essentially means AD is full time, overseas nursing in whatever country I would be stationed in (Germany-Kuwait- Afghanistan, you never know) and doing lots of humanitarian type work with a shift similar to that of a regular hospital, just overseas full time. Reserve is when you only serve when you are needed locally on weekends typically- so it would be like having a second job. The only position I would be given is Nurse, so I would never have to physically step into battle. That's good, it's not scary pow-pow Army. The training I would have would just be leadership courses and a 15 day course which would just be a bit of prep in addition to Army protocol (how to march, etc.). Wow, so I wouldn't even have to leave the country..
The benefits are fantastic. Aside from the reward service gives, there are travel opportunities, low cost insurance, starting as an officer, low-no cost benefits, No-cost/housing allowance, amazing retirement benefits, and here's the kicker- if I want to pursue more education goals (such as move up to Nurse Practitioner) they cover it. The Army promotes education and having the highest quality medical staff they can have, so they are firm believers in pursuing education/career goals. That's BIG.
So you can understand why this caught my attention. This choice could take care of me for the rest of my life in addition to the satisfaction of travel via humanitarian work. How could you ignore something that offered that much?
I can apply after I've had 2 years of hospital work here, so this would not be an impulse- I have time. I can make sure to establish myself before I apply and make that decision. Otherwise if I graduate with my BSN in addition to obtaining my license (duh), I am eligible.
So there's that. For the first time in my life, I am considering joining the Army. Maybe it is for me, maybe it's not. I have lots of time and prayer to figure that out, so for now, I'm just taking life one step at a time and basking in the idea that I have so many options.
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