Bitch Please

       No matter your gender, you've heard it, been called it, used it even. For women the connotation is harsh and definitive, stamped on the forehead as punishment for for actions deemed as "improper and cruel" to whomever subjectively does the labeling. Pronouncing a woman to be a bitch in the traditional sense is to label whatever comes out of her mouth as rude and irrational, much like the deeming of being a Shrew in Shakespearean times. For men however, it is of even worse connotation. A man who is a bitch is a man being rude and irrational...but lacking all masculinity and falling into the same category as women. Also definitive, equally as much of a lash to moral. But as you noticed... nothing I just said was news.

    Why should a woman be punished and labeled for stating something she believes to be honest, or acting on her own accord? Why does she have to be put down for speaking her mind? Why does she have to be known for being rude and inconsiderate because of someone's opinion? They're her damn beliefs!

I think Megan Carpentier puts it best in the statement, "Being a bitch is every woman's birthright". If a man asserts his opinions then he is a "boss" and admired for his confidence while a woman can do the same thing and be dismissed for being a "bitch". And lo', the double standard was conceived to maintain a male driven world. 

   Business women are known for being cold and assertive bitches, but in reality, that is one of the only ways to assure to be taken seriously. Nicki Minaj in an interview with Chelsea Handler (known for being an over-saturated lady rapper, but unrecognized for being a business woman and representing herself) claims it is ultimately the only way to be heard. So ladies, how do we maintain a likable demeanor while maintaining a known presence? We become a straight up boss bitch. 

Circumstances in which it is acceptable to  be a bitch
~  If someone makes a sexist ass comment. Pardon my language, but that is never acceptable even in joking. In no way will I make anyone a sandwich, and in no way do I have to take orders just because I am a woman.So why put up with anyone with a superiority complex? Spread the respect.
~If someone drops the R word. Look at this one as a big picture. If someone is using a word rooted in ignorance to put someone down...why not stand up for those being hurt? In other words, if you have to stand up for those who are being hurt directly or indirectly, go ahead and be a bitch.
~If one insists on asserting their stupid. People have a tendency to hold their beliefs to be true, which is perfectly fine, but when they are persistent that you change yours...then it's acceptable to hold your own.
~When you need to be taken seriously. Now I'm talking about if you are not being taken seriously previously. If you are being dismissed, then make sure to stand your ground and be assertive. And I mean if you have to...be a bitch.

However there is quite a difference to being a bad bitch and being downright unreasonable. You can have manners and still be a boss bitch. I cannot emphasize that enough.

When it is NOT okay to get bitchy
~At a restaurant. Oh. My. God. If you've ever worked in one you know the exact thing I'm talking about, but serving is tough. Rude customers are even tougher. Nothing makes a long, bustling day spent of your feet longer than putting on a fake smile to rude customers. Because nothing is a bigger nightmare in the food industry than involving a manager with a fussy customer over a stupid conflict. Be civil, remember those manners, don't ruin a server's day with attitude.
~To people who clean up after you. Janitors, maintenance workers, BSWs, anyone whose job it is to clean up after you. Even if they aren't as thorough as you'd like, people are people and bitching them out is not acceptable and will not make it any better. If you want to be respected, give respect.
~If you are having a bad day. I guarantee if you give someone attitude because you are having a bad day, you will bring down their mood as well. Keep your attitude in check and make sure good karma spreads.

So don't settle for being a basic bitch and be a boss bitch. Stop the stigma- be heard.

A Gap in Reality- Not just a Thigh Gap.

Today I was sitting down to do some work when I opened up my Facebook tab. Classic. But I stumbled across a link to a poorly doctored image of a bikini model from a major company. A company major enough to be able to catch slip ups like that. The effect of the picture made me realize how drastic of a change photoshop will make on images that were simple enough (in my understanding) to not need much editing. So I took initiative and decided to spread it the best way I knew how.
    I called over my 10-year-old little sister and showed her this image. At first she registered it as a regular image, until I pointed out the major editing flaws. A grossly over-exaggerated thigh gap, mistakes in arm slimming editing, and asymmetrically distorted hips. She commented as to how weird the image looked with those distortions as I could see her her eyes focus on the screen, youthful and naive to big industry perceptions the consume the media today. All together, I told her that she would never see this girl walking around today- even if she saw the model. This girl does not exist.
  I knew that she was going to go about her entire life being told that she has to look different, that what she looks like now won't be good enough. More than anything, I don't want her skipping meals because she wants to look like the girls from the disney channel. I want her to feel pretty because she has huge blue eyes and long, dark eyelashes already, not aspiring to a face full of makeup. I know at her age, I was beyond uncomfortable with my height and proportions and would have given anything to look like the littler girls I saw every day. I do not want her biggest bully to be the one inside her own head, so I took a stand to change that.
   Advertising is cold and unforgiving, so foster a reality that is natural, creative and healthy. I really believe that if we all have this talk with the impressionable little girls around us, especially at this age- we can change the dynamic that is sweeping the nation. We can knock this perception back to a reality. If we don't change this now, what will happen if it continues? If we can send the message that skinny doesn't sell, it will just have to change. Being a role model figure, I make an important endeavor to make it clear to do my part and set her straight. Now it's up to you to do yours.
   Visit this link to show your little girls the same, and turn this reality from inevitable to avoided.
http://www.eonline.com/news/519820/target-is-now-in-the-lead-for-worst-photoshop-job-ever-with-this-horrifying-thigh-gap?cmpid=sn-111021-facebook-na-eonline